My feelings about yoga...

Here follows a transcript from today that pretty much sums up my feelings about yoga.

Me
okay, it's 3:40
I am going to gather up my things and head home
and NOT GO TO HOT YOGA
because I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HOT YOGA
because -- and here's what I am finally being honest with myself about -- I DON'T LIKE HOT YOGA.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOGA!
I feel as if I am supposed to like yoga.

R

EFF HOT YOGA 

Me
Like I'm not.. I dunno, cool or fit or committed or whatever, if I don't like yoga.

R

YOGA IS FOR TOOLS 

Me
BUT I DON'T LIKE YOGA.

R

AND GWYNETH PALTROW WHO IS A TOOL 

Me
Oh, Gwynnie.

R

I feel fine about never doing yoga 

Me
 have less dislike for her than I do for yoga.

R

Next time I go to Rancho La Puerta, I will do yoga again 

Me
Yes, that's right, I ACTIVELY DISLIKE YOGA.

R

But that's the only place I have to do it 

SCREW YOU, YOGA!

Me
I want to like it.
I keep trying to like it.
BUT I DON'T LIKE IT.

R

The hell with it 

Me
And I don't think it's something like, I dunno, beets that one gets a taste for later in life.
(Also true: I did not like beets until I went to grad school.)

R 

I didn't eat olives until around age 30 

OR YOGA 

Me
I wouldn't eat olives -- except as a pizza topping with lots of other things -- until I married Wil.

R 

Some day you might even come around to raisins and coconut 

HA HA HA 

Me
right after I learn to love yoga

R 

All at once 

If you come up here, we can drink champagne 

Just sayin'

...

And then I went round and drank champagne. I should quickly point out that R is devotee of pilates who also runs and rides her bike all over town.

Now, I know people LOVE yoga. I have friends who are yoga instructors. I have friends who do yoga regularly and love it. I don't dislike it because I am inflexible and feel like I'm bad at it, though those things are true. I don't dislike it because once a (former) co-worker turned to me after an at-work yoga class and said -- I'm not kidding here -- "You were really struggling." Her tone was not, "Wow, you persevered" so much as "Man, you suck at that. How embarrassing for you."

I spend my time in a yoga class just dreading the next pose, and wondering how soon before it will be over. That's not normal, right? I want to have done and loved yoga. But I don't even feel particularly pleased with myself for going... I just feel... relieved that it's over.

Hate is a strong word. I don't hate yoga. But I just don't like it. And I feel like it's a moral failing that I don't like it. So periodically I try it again, testing it. Do I like it now? Nope. How about now? Nope. Now? Huh-uh.

Maybe now is the time to say, actually, no, thank you. Yoga isn't my thing. I respect that others love it. Like how others love black licorice or NASCAR or perfume or modern jazz.