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I don't mean to sound negative... or to angle for pity... but I realized a few hours ago that I've got a half marathon in a week and a half and I'm totally not prepared.
Well, okay, I'm mentally prepared for it... by which I mean that I know that I will be able to finish, that there will be laughs along the way, that we'll take some funny pictures, that I'll get bored around mile 12, that we'll get a sparkly medal, and that the vacation will start in earnest 5 minutes after we cross the finish line. There will be points along the course where I struggle -- but in the end it will be fine.
I'm just not physically prepared for it. With only a handful of exceptions, I haven't run since the back-to-back races in November. NOVEMBER! This is my longest "running drought" since I started running. And I don't know why.
I feel as if I've lost my groove, a bit. Again, I don't know why. I just haven't felt like running very much. And -- like a lot of things I feel anxiety about at various times -- the "problem" gets bigger and bigger. I can't just lace up and go for a run around the block -- I must go for a proper run -- but that seems overwhelming. Actually firing up the treadmill downstairs feels like a huge task... and a huge victory when I do it. No, I don't know why.
I've felt underprepared for races before... but looking back over my running logs this is the most unprepared I have ever been.
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Kung hei fat choy!
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